How Do You Answer the "Why" Questions of Children & Adolescents
Nov 20, 2019As adults we tend to bristle when a child replies to our telling them to do something with a "Why". Many adults see it as being oppositional or defiant.
The reality is that most children and adolescents can't immediately understand your thoughts or reasoning, making them somewhat uncomfortable. Why was he told to do it - already deep into his homework, instead of his brother who is doing nothing? Why does it need to be done now? Could it be done in ten minutes when the show he is watching is over? Why does it have to be done this way? He may have another way that will give the same outcome but be more enjoyable or be done faster.
When we don't take time to answer their why questions, resentment builds as does a feeling that the child's point of view doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is the adult "winning."
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